Notes from the Holiday Ale Festival, 12/4/10

I went down to the Pioneer Courthouse Square yesterday to experience the northwest's premier winter beer showcase. For $25, I got a cheap plastic mug with a map of the event on the side and 10 4-oz tasting tickets. About one thousand people were gathered under a series of tents, and there was a strong odor of potpourri and Christmas candles, possibly pumped in artificially. The crowd ranged from somewhat drunk to pretty drunk and were generally young and congenial. Although I insulted the Blazers inadvertently and one dude said, "I didn't know you were a son of a bitch, but I guess I do now."

The level of beer connoisseurship was high to very high and I enjoyed quizzing the people around me in the tasting line about their vote for best in show. I noted some aesthetic crossover between beer aficionados, renaissance faire attendees, and rock climbing-type gear heads. Which makes sense given that the craft beer movement seems to be driven equally by nerdy chemistry innovation and rediscovery of historic processes. The winter beers especially struck a Tolkienesque tone with names like Aegir's Cauldron, Concentrated Evil, and Very Ill-Tempered Gnome.

Here's a sample of some beers I tried, and the notes I took. As the afternoon went on the notes become increasingly arcane, or poetic if you're feeling generous.

Pavlov's Imperial Russian Stout by Lucky Labrador Brewing
"bitter, toast, molasses"

Figgy Pudding, Olde Stock by Block 15 Brewing Co.
"raisiny, strong - almost cloying, fruit-forward"

Bockus by Double Mountain Brewery
"just tastes like beer, caramel candy finish"

Concentrated Evil by Fifty Fifty Brewing Co.
"finishes of banana peel and trash, better after a few sips"

Franc'ly Brewdolph by Lompoc Brewing Co.
"worst name in show, dark and dirty in the best way, soupçon of dried fruit"

Aegir's Cauldron by Collaborator
"unclean and filthy, a sour bitter lingerer, 'you're a filthy boy', dirty dusty and bitter as shit, nigh on offensive"

Blitzen by Rock Bottom Brewery
"the JFK of beers"

Stone Smoked Porter by Stone Brewing Co.
"still drinkable even with a bitter edge, dark and herbally deep, evocative of the Maillard browning process"

My vote for best in show was Papa Noel's Moonlight Reserve by Alameda Brewhouse. It was lively, and didn't taste desperate to prove its potency like a good many of the others did. A surprising number of these breweries are based in Portland, which leaves me optimistic for future tasting endeavors.

Nickeltips

I recently moved to Portland, Oregon, home to the highest strip club per capita rate in the nation. Being unemployed here has had two unintended consequences: I spend a lot of time daydreaming about businesses I could start and I spend a lot of time bemoaning the high cost of strip clubs and my lack of disposable income. Thus, the plan for Nickeltips was born.

It's a strip club whose primary currency is not the tuck-a-buck single, but hardy, unassuming nickel. At twenty to the dollar, a hundo will get you 2000 shiny nickels. All of a sudden making it rain has all the thrill - and danger - of a hailstorm. Imagine a dark cavern lit by the glitter of flying coins. Change machines line the walls, and the usuals sport the official black leather fanny pack with pink embroidered Nickeltips logo, bulging with change, low-slung on the hip. Everywhere the jingle. Holiday songs take on special significance, and "Jingle Bells" becomes a year-round standard. Waitresses wear coin changers on their belts, and all change is, of course, given in all nickels. There would be Buffalo Head night, as well as single-source theme nights where all nickels thrown come from the same mint. Mint juleps would be popular, served in nickel plated julep glasses, with tiny slip-on maple sap bucket covers for protection.



At the end of the night, bartenders and dancers would use snow shovels to scoop up the piles of specie, some two or three feet deep. And through the early morning, the whirr of coin counters will tally the night's take.

- This will be the first in a series of posts on business concepts that I am working through. Expect more items like this one in coming weeks!